IC inbox for Snowblind

[sharktrash]

	Salve, dickheads! You've reached Squalo! If you've got something useful, leave a message. If you just wanna chat, fuck right off.
	✆ ✉ ♬ Snowblind Navigation Code Credit

Comments

[sharktrash]

[ That is wise, to be honest. While Squalo had been doing his best not to talk murder on the network, those couple of days had evidently been fucking with his sanity, not to mention that he may or may not have spilled more beans about himself to Flynn during their imaginary ten years of friendship or whatever. ]

[ Squalo's grin looks like it belongs on a shark. ]

Of course.

[ You're totally convinced, right? ]

[cahooted]

[Totally.

Wow, Squalo, that is absolutely reassuring and doesn't make him picture himself bleeding out in a snow slope somewhere at all. Just... this look as Flynn's eyebrows slowly go up.]

Riiight.

So we should probably have a referee present. You know, in case of a tie.

[sharktrash]

There's no such thing as a tie, just a mutual agreement to give up.

[ That probably sounds extra reassuring. Nonetheless, this is them getting way ahead of themselves. ]

I'm more concerned about finding or making anything remotely similar to a sword. Haven't found so much as a walking cane so far.

[cahooted]

[No, no, Squalo, see, you make sure there won't be any murdering going on before looking for swordalikes, so they're not getting ahead of themselves at all, as far as Flynn is concerned. It's a question of priorities.

Also, 100% not mentioning his crowbar.]

Yeah, I know, they're really not in fashion here... Sometimes there's rubble, maybe we could use some wood for substitute. They don't make for weapons of course, but since this is a sporting event only...

[sharktrash]

[ Who'd want to make sure of that before a fight? That's boring. That's so boring it could've come from, like, a librarian or something. ]

[ HOW CAN YOU HIDE A CROWBAR FROM HIM, FLYNN?? HE THOUGHT THEY WERE FRIENDS? ]

Hey, that's fine. Give me a sharp stick and I'll break through three hundred Spartans.

[ his middle name is probably Modesty ]

Wood's fine for practice, but it's still gotta have the flesh, so to speak.

[ He supposes he could whittle something from a piece of furniture, but he's found nothing with a blade so far, and random pieces of rubble are just too... wrong. Clumsy. A proper sword is all about the elegance. ]

[cahooted]

[People, Squalo. People who don't throw themselves at anomalies want to make sure of that. Love your life a little, please, Flynn is extremely fond of his.

And TOUGH LUCK you will pry this crowbar from his cold dead hands.

Only no, please don't.]

That's oddly specific. Are you a Roman?

[sharktrash]

[ Look he loves his life a lot and definitely more than any other person's except one, that doesn't mean he's going to deny himself the thrill of a life or death duel!! ]

[ Er, a sporting event. ]

[ THAT COULD BE ARRANGED THOUGH. ]

[ There's a small pause. ]

Well, if we're delving into ancestry, kinda, yeah. [ Ancient Romans were still Italians, right? With a bit more taste for bloodsports and goat porn; Squalo is fond of one and not the other. He's also a bit of a gladiator fanboy. ] T'was a metaphor, though. You familiar with the legends?

[ Squalo's own familiarity may or may not be watching '300' in a private cinema because he's not exactly a book-studying type, but he probably owned a few authentic weapons from that era back home. ]

[cahooted]

The Battle of Thermopylae, of course. [Flynn nods.] Fought between the alliance of Greek city-states, led by King Leonidas of Sparta, and the Persian Empire of Xerxes. Leonidas attempted to block the Persian advance at the pass of Thermopylae and initially succeeded but they were outflanked on the third day, suffering heavy casualties.

[... He has never seen the movie.]

I was wondering about the Salve. Very distinct.

[sharktrash]

[ Squalo nods in turn. ]

It's become something of a symbol in modern times. Bottom line, they were real good. Wish I could've fought some of them. Bet that'd be awesome.

[ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE?! There's more than one, too. Also a bunch of others. What about Spartacus?? ]

Mm. This place... translates, but some words still slip through at times.

[cahooted]

[Because he actually reads up on history, gosh.

He did see Spartacus, though, with his Mom. It was uncomfortable, as were her comments about Kirk Douglas' upper body.]

Boy, you really like fighting. [He is not surprised, really. If there's one thing about Squalo he clearly remembers from 20 years of messed up Norfinbury residency, it's that.]

So you're Italian? Where are you from?

[sharktrash]

[ WHO HAS THE PATIENCE FOR THAT? ]

[ But if you found something interesting and not particularly well known, do tell him. He'll gobble it up like a kid thirsty for bedtime stories. ]

[ ...you probably need to be Super Bi to enjoy some of those movies, that is true :|a ]

Of course. This place is killing me.

[ l...iterally, but at the moment he's only referring to not being able to FIGHT!! every day. he feels like he's decaying already. ]

I move a lot for work. [ which is totally legitimate and is definitely not managing a gang of murderers, gosh. ] Born in Sicilia, though.

[ It probably explains some of his accent. Lots of countries have a South, and all. ]

[cahooted]

There's a lot of downtime in the evening, that's for sure.

[But okay, we're coming to another highly interesting topic, one that's been bothering Flynn for a while. And one that he wants answered before he agrees to a fight with this guy.]

You know, maybe you told me in the future or whatever augmented version thereof we stumbled through in our heads but... what exactly is your job?

[Or, you know, was, but using the past tense is rude. And Flynn hasn't given up on getting out of this place at some point, so.]

[sharktrash]

[ Squalo just makes a frustrated noise of agreement. While trekking through arctic tundra definitely sucks, at least it gives him some clear goals and action. The evenings are a whole other kind of hell, especially since he's been alone for most of it. ]

[ The question amuses him a little. He supposes he's never been good at hiding his particular skillset, but he also has no wish to paint a target on his back earlier than necessary by freely informing the other residents that yes, I off people for money, that's it, that's the job. ]

[ It takes him less than a second to consider what options would make sense while still not looking too threatening. ]

I'm a bodyguard.

[ that's nice of you, Flynn, but he's going to go ahead and ruin your effort: ]

Was. Bet my record got totally ruined while I'm trapped here.

[ The bitterness is genuine, even if it's not quite the real depth of it. ]

[cahooted]

Well... maybe I can interest you in the e-library?

[It's an awkward interjection and Flynn would like to come up with some comforting words but somehow they fail him. What is he supposed to say that isn't I totally used present tense for a reason here, come on? Somehow the moment doesn't warrant it.

Flynn frowns slightly at the bitterness.

And some other detail.]

There's a record for bodyguarding?

[sharktrash]

[ Squalo is going to give him A Look, because how the fuck could books possibly help with his utter disaster of a situation? He'll probably reconsider a little later, though, because even questionable erotica was loads better than being bored for another minute. ]

Sure. If your charges got a tendency to die, you don't get hired much.

[cahooted]

[Because they're books, Squalo. Because they're books.

Flynn frowns, thinking that response over.]

Alright, that makes sense. But how do you guys do that, do you have like a tally list or something?

[Look, it's a little hard to wrap his head around it.] Wouldn't all the bodyguards whose charges never died share first place?

[sharktrash]

[ But books suck. Well, most of them. ]

[ Squalo's own frown is deepening, because why the fuck is he stuck explaining something he's not even really a part of in the first place? ]

The fuck are you talking about? It's not a competition. More like -- a background check. [ maybe that would be a more familiar concept. ] Folks with higher success rate get more job offers, and better money. 'Nd those who repeatedly fail get a new fucking job.

[cahooted]

[You shut your mouth.]

... That's actually a pretty good thing for the clients to have, I suppose.

[I mean. If you're hiring someone to protect your life and all.]

Right. Well... maybe some people here need protecting? You could offer your services I guess.

[sharktrash]

[ you can't make him ]

Mm. Not much use for that here.

[ He could, technically, but money means nothing here, it's too damn easy to die to things that another person can't protect against, and Squalo's damn picky with whom he swears his life to. He's pretty content to have himself as his first and foremost priority, thanks. ]

It'll suck if my last client dies while I'm stuck here, yeah? [ not really, but he imagines he would feel this way if he actually was protecting someone. ] Don't think insurance covers interdimensional kidnappings.

[cahooted]

I can definitely see how that might be a problem. [A beat.] For all parties involved.

Then again, interdimensional kidnappings are a pretty good excuse.

[sharktrash]

[ You'd think it would suck the most for the person who actually dies, but of course Squalo deems their problem trivial when compared to his. ]

I don't like excuses.

[ Whether they're good or not doesn't really matter. He's not sure it's going to matter to the Varia, either. ]

[ So. ]

I've told you quite a bit about myself. [ And at least his place of origin was not a lie. ] Your turn.

[cahooted]

Sounds fair. [It's a reasonable request; especially since Squalo is probably stuck with the same confusing mix of feeling like they know each other while knowing nothing about each other at all.]

I'm from New York City, USA. Live and work there, when I'm not traveling for my job. I'm a Librarian, New York Public Metropolitan.

If that means anything to you.

[It's a fairly well-known library but Flynn really doesn't expect them to be even remotely from the same world or timeline with all the sword murdering going around.

Then again, Squalo has seen 300, so who knows.]

[sharktrash]

[ He really is. It's a little like having a vague memory of being arrested last night but you're still too drunk to figure out how you got to a yacht instead. ]

Sure. I've been there. Well, the city, not the library.

[ Squalo'sworld is largely the same as the regular twenty-first century Earth, except with large mafia alliances factually holding more power (and probably money) than governments. Then again, who's to say it's not the same everywhere? It's not exactly public knowledge. ]

[ Oh, and there's energy magic. In addition to the fact that Squalo's apparently so good he can go with a sword against semi-automatic submachine guns. ]

I didn't realize librarians travel that much.

[cahooted]

You have? [Okay, re-evaluating that bit.] I thought you were some kind of Italian ninja samurai from the past. What year are you from?

[It's funny how it's always the traveling bit that seems to give him away. Flynn wonders if he might want to stop mentioning that.]

We have conferences. And I work for a special collection, sometimes I have to go and pick up new additions, cooperate with other libraries...

[sharktrash]

Italy never had samurai. Or ninja. [ If he looks a bit offended, it's because he's had his ass handed by a tiny Japanese teenager who was pretty much a samurai in the modern sense. He's got nothing against the warrior caste itself. ] It was [ some year between 2006 and 2012, when satellite phones already existed, since that's when the manga ran ] when I left.

[ ...he'll definitely want to stop mentioning that. ]

A special collection of... books?