[ you know, sometimes he really questions why he is still friends with you. but then he remembers that sometimes he really likes it when you're mean to him.
Dino just stands there for a moment, blinking at Squalo where he sinks into the couch. Trap. This was a trap.
But he shrugs and turns to head into the kitchen. ]
If you say so but don't blame me if your kitchen burns down and I end up dead on the floor from blood-loss.
[ it wouldn't actually be that bad. he's not TERRIBLE hes just horrible. ]
[ wow Squalo should be the one asking that question. why is he the only one pulling the chores weight around here and getting literally nothing for it? not even sunday pancakes for fuck's sake. this one-sided shit ends right now. ]
[ his voice is even, almost calm, and nonetheless threatening in that particular way of his. ]
If you burn down my kitchen, I'm auctioning off your soul to pay for a new one.
[ so don't even try that, funny boy. ]
[ the hell-puppy reemerges, looking between Squalo and Dino in visible confusion, and slowly gnawing on the door. ]
I'm guessing he means you, chomps.
[ the puppy lets go of the wood, wags its barely existent tail and stalks after Dino. unlike normal dogs, it would eat fish, vegetables, plastic and probably even rocks, so that's not going to be a problem. ]
[ He's scanning your fridge and pantry for things and setting them all out. In the process he pats the dog and gets him to lay down on the mat to continue chewing up whatever is in his mouth.
Then the clink of pans and utensils. ]
Was this going to be a lesson or am I just making this?
I mean, you can try if you want. Maybe I'll come back a version of myself that doesn't give a damn about you and it'll save us both this headache.
[ NOT. OLD. Just older.
He ignored that last bit. Quietly going about actually cooking something with the usual sounds of utensils clanking against pans, or knives against a cutting board. The occasional spray from the sink to wash his hands.
All is well for a good while. And for the record he does burn his hand once, but that can't be helped. And it actually smells nice. He's quite impressed with himself for that.
#you'refiredI'mgettinganewBestFriend
He's cleaning up the dishes, and eyeing Cazzo for a moment, deliberating something. They have an almost silent conversation before he shrugs, twirling the knife around in his hand. ]
Oh boo-hoo I could totally not care, and that would sure show you. It's cute how you keep... what is this actually, threatening me somehow? If you wanna say something, say it.
[ Old. Totally old. He's Old Xanxus -old, and that has proven to be useless-old, except Squalo never actually had much expectations for Dino so it's not as jarring. ]
[ --Okay, scratch that. Once the smell from the kitchen tickles his nostrils and it actually seems acceptable, Squalo decides that maybe Cavallone deserves a few more chances after all. He sits up properly, then stands up to head to the kitchen, actually curious. ]
I'll be damned, I didn't think you'd make it out alive.
[ He peers at the pot/pan/plate wherever the results are currently residing, laughs, and gives Dino an encouraging slap on the shoulder. ]
See? You can actually accomplish basic daily tasks when you put your mind to it. I'm almost proud.
[ it's just a simple fish puttanesca. not even he could mess that up.
...also, rude.
...he leans against the counter, tapping the tip of the knife to his bottom lip when he finally comes to investigate. He offers the dog a look and finally just sets the knife onto the drying mat with the rest of the dishes he'd cleaned.
His eyes roll at the pat and he huffs indignantly. ]
Do what, this? [ He gives him another hearty shoulder-pat. ] It's how men show affection. [ Or it might just be Squalo, but he just shrugs. ] Suppose you wouldn't know, huh.
[ THE COMPLIMENTS JUST WON'T STOP TODAY. ]
[ Nonetheless, he's walking over to the cabinets and returning with some nice-looking fish-adjacent wine and two (!) glasses, which he then sets on the kitchen table and pours. Hopefully Dino is getting some plates, because they're totally eating together. ]
[ he glances at the second shoulder pat and arches a brow. ] ...nevermind.
[ he watches Squalo move away and does in fact grab two plates, with matching silverware. admittedly, he does adjust the amount he grabs after noting the two glasses...
he knows this doesn't mean anything and he's not putting any weight to it, but he does think it's nice. sharing a meal. doing something like this for someone else.
the next part comes out of nowhere and he worries the inside of his cheek.]
[ it's lucky that the glasses are already set down and full, because Squalo flinches and drops the remaining bottle on the floor. it shatters, leaving a blotch of wine spreading across the tiles, but rather than do anything about it, Squalo just pulls back a chair and sits down, now all tense. ]
...don't.
[ don't do this to him. he can't even begin to describe in words what he feels right now. and that's exactly why he was hoping to just sort of... ignore it. pretend it's not there. have a nice meal with his friend without screaming his throat out in grief. don't take it away from him. ]
[ the shattered wine bottle surprises him and Dino looks from it, Cazzo deciding he wants to lick it up, and Squalo who moves over to sit in the chair. ]
Kyouya.
[ he corrects, but...he gets it. This hadn't been his intention. he hadn't connected those dots. he just...needed to say it. outloud. ]
[ Squalo gives him a look of disbelief, because he totally did not see it coming -- well, of course, he's obsessed with himself after all -- and he's not sure what the hell he's supposed to say. ]
[ Then he realizes the little hell creature is waddling right into the middle of glass shards while slurping tile wine up with its weirdly long tongue. It may be difficult to hurt Hell creatures, but that goldfish totally died from tequila, so -- ]
No -- fuck! --
[ he grabs Cazzo out of the mess and plonks him into his lap. the puppy shoots its tongue out like a goddamn chameleon to give him a cheek lick before it disappears in its weird maw again. ]
[...well. That’s a sight that causes Dino to smirk faintly.
It finally happened. That sealed the puppy deal. Cazzo really does belong to Squalo now (part time :| ).
Dino quietly turns to plate the dish on two plates, and gives Cazzo some in a bowl. All three are brought over to the table but he sets Cazzo’s on the floor beside Squalo. ]
[ Squalo has a long suffering expression on his face, a little exaggerated, which suggests his mood has at least lifted a little bit from where it was a moment ago. He still holds onto the puppy, though, not going to let it go until the glass is gone from the floor. ]
[ He gives a nod with a grunt of acknowledgement, his version of "thanks" for the moment, and keeps one hand on Cazzo to stop him from climbing into the plate. He runs the other through his bangs and sighs. ]
...do you think that's why they brought them in to begin with? So they'd have a better way to torture us?
[ Because he's certainly hurting more now than from any of Lucifer's games ever did over the course of two years. ]
[ Dino busies himself with scooping up the broken glass shards that he can get easily and then carefully sops up the spilled wine. he would probably always be here to clean up Squalo's messes... ]
I...don't know, honestly.
[ the rest of the wine is cleaned up with a wet cloth, and Dino moves over to grab a new bottle; inspecting them before finding one that's close enough before he brings it over with the glasses. ]
[ as the glass is gone, Squalo lets Cazzo down, and the creature merrily plops on the floor to devour his portion. Possibly swallow it along with the bowl, as Hell creatures do. ]
[ Squalo leans forward, his elbows on the table, head in hands. ]
I thought I had a deal with Lucifer. I did everything he asked of me. [ That included fucking over a bunch of his fellow sinners. Not that he really regrets it, but still. ] I don't understand why this happened.
[ the wine and glasses were set aside and he sank down into a nearby chair. some of his attention is on the dog and his horrible manners, the other on his friend barely keeping it together, and whatever is left is on other things... ]
Lucifer is not in control here. He's never been in control. You could do everything he ever asks of you and it still won't matter because he answers ultimately to someone else.
[ his brow furrows. ]
I never understood why you follow the power and don't just own it yourself. You could. You just give it up and that's why this is happening.
[ this is dumb and he's not drunk enough for this sort of conversation. ]
You invest in other people more than you invest in yourself and then when it's ripped from you, you don't know how to handle it.
[ ....welp.... ]
But you have it in you to get your arrogant, stubborn head out of your hands and help yourself. It breaks my heart to see how miserable you've allowed yourself to be.
[ Squalo leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair in frustration again. Yeah, he knew Lucifer was pretty much trapped here along with them, but all the same... ]
But he managed to get him in, so I thought... [ he sighs. Little does he know that Lucifer had merely not corrected his misunderstanding on the situation. He had never actually brought Xanxus in... probably. ] Doesn't matter now.
[ He shakes his head, laughing mirthlessly. ]
Are you saying I should be the boss? I made up my mind about that when I won the Varia. I'm not somebody who can sit around safely and be important all day, you know that.
[ Bosses were too valuable to throw into the fray unless absolutely necessary, and Squalo lived for his battles. He had made the best decision he could with what he had. ]
[ Of course, now... ]
[ Shit, Dino's right. He doesn't know how to handle this. He has no coping mechanisms besides drinking and violence, and that's pretty much his regular day. ]
I'm saying you're perfectly capable of doing everything on your own. You don't actually need anyone. You know how to lead, you know how to fight, you know how to figure shit out. So with all of that under your belt, with more ego than any man actually needs--why are you sitting here like your entire world has blown to shit?
[ he took the bottle up and filled the two glasses, sank back into the chair with his own and rolled his eyes. ]
So, see that and really take it in that you're better than this, eat your food, drink your wine, love the new puppy and get on with it.
[ He pauses and looks up, hands dropping down to the table, looking actually a bit shaken. This is... harsher than Dino usually speaks, but it's also true. It's true, as well as the fact that he's really let himself go in more ways than one recently. As much as it sickens him to be lectured by Dino Cavallone of all people and to agree he actually has a point this time, it's just facts. ]
...
[ He folds his arms defiantly and scowls. ]
Sure, I'm capable. I don't want to.
[ His cheek twitches a little as he bares his teeth in distaste, glaring at the table. ]
I was on my own for eight years. I don't want to do it again. It's -- too soon.
[ His world has been blown to shit, than you very much. What if he decides to just be stubborn about his wallowing in misery? What then? Okay, that's nowhere glorious enough for him to actually do it long term, but he's feeling rather pissed off at the moment so he's willing to go against just about any good suggestion there can be. ]
[ There is a moment where Dino nods in agreement—yes, Squalo, you are capable—but then that is shot to hell with what follows.
He blinks in surprise and then scowls; holding the glass of wine in one hand, idly swirling the contents as his expression morphs from surprise, to confusion, a touch a scorn and then just annoyance. ]
What are you going to do, then? Hm? Cry some more? Drink yourself stupid? Become the exact kind of weakness you give other people shit for?
[ he snorts softly and shakes his head. ]
I don’t believe you will. Your ego couldn’t take it. And for the record you’re not alone. I may not be someone you enjoy having around but someone who looks up to you is here now and he deserves better than this. So knock the shit off and stand up. You’re better than this. It’s the whole reason I continue to bail your ass out when I can. I need you to be what I can’t.
[ He doesn't like this. He doesn't like the words coming out of Dino's mouth or the look on his face -- that scorn, especially. How dares he. This was the way Squalo looked at lesser men. ]
[ As soon as the word "cry" has left Dino's lips, Squalo's standing up suddenly in a fit of rage, slamming his hands down on the table with a loud thud, looking like he's about to start screaming at him -- but instead he just glares. ]
[ He can't exactly deny those things, them being exactly what he's been doing for the last couple of months, but he didn't have to actually say them, and Squalo didn't have to like it. It's probably a good sign that this has made him mad to such an extent -- there's still stubbornness, and there's still pride, underneath the whole pity party. He's not completely broken yet. He's still himself, just buried under resentment and sadness, but those can be torn away still. ]
[ He growls, loud, offended, teeth bared, and then slowly sits back down as Dino calmly continues speaking as if Squalo didn't look ready to tear his throat out a second ago. Well, maybe he wasn't a Boss for nothing after all, not that he'd ever admit it. Instead, he angrily shoves some food into his mouth. ]
[ That last bit makes him pause mid-chew again, though not in a bad way. He likes being needed. He regards Dino with some amount of curiosity. Be what he can't, huh? ]
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Great. Then make yourself useful. I want something with fish.
[ aaand he's pointedly sitting down and putting his feet on the table. horses that don't earn their keep are sold for sausage u know ]
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but then he remembers that sometimes he really likes it when you're mean to him.Dino just stands there for a moment, blinking at Squalo where he sinks into the couch. Trap. This was a trap.
But he shrugs and turns to head into the kitchen. ]
If you say so but don't blame me if your kitchen burns down and I end up dead on the floor from blood-loss.
[ it wouldn't actually be that bad. he's not TERRIBLE hes just horrible. ]
Cazzo di cane, come help. You might get samples.
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[ his voice is even, almost calm, and nonetheless threatening in that particular way of his. ]
If you burn down my kitchen, I'm auctioning off your soul to pay for a new one.
[ so don't even try that, funny boy. ]
[ the hell-puppy reemerges, looking between Squalo and Dino in visible confusion, and slowly gnawing on the door. ]
I'm guessing he means you, chomps.
[ the puppy lets go of the wood, wags its barely existent tail and stalks after Dino. unlike normal dogs, it would eat fish, vegetables, plastic and probably even rocks, so that's not going to be a problem. ]
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I am worth more than this kitchen.
[ He's scanning your fridge and pantry for things and setting them all out. In the process he pats the dog and gets him to lay down on the mat to continue chewing up whatever is in his mouth.
Then the clink of pans and utensils. ]
Was this going to be a lesson or am I just making this?
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[ Still, surely nobody could be that horrible. At least, nobody who didn't have all-destructive fire coming out of their bare hands. ]
[ Squalo does his best to relax, sinking deeper into the couch, and closes his eyes. ]
Lesson? You just fucking said you can cook.
[ Own up to your shit, Cavallone. ]
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[ You have a soft spot STOP LYING.
I hate you.He's measuring things out beforehand, not everything but the annoying parts...cutting up vegetables, etc. ]
I can. I also said I might bleed to death in the process.
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[ He probably would. Although he's feeling resentful to old people in general at this point. ]
Bleed on the tiles and not into my food, then.
[ #friendoftheyear ]
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[ NOT. OLD. Just older.
He ignored that last bit. Quietly going about actually cooking something with the usual sounds of utensils clanking against pans, or knives against a cutting board. The occasional spray from the sink to wash his hands.
All is well for a good while. And for the record he does burn his hand once, but that can't be helped. And it actually smells nice. He's quite impressed with himself for that.
#you'refiredI'mgettinganewBestFriend
He's cleaning up the dishes, and eyeing Cazzo for a moment, deliberating something. They have an almost silent conversation before he shrugs, twirling the knife around in his hand. ]
Come and get it Princess.
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[ Old. Totally old. He's Old Xanxus -old, and that has proven to be useless-old, except Squalo never actually had much expectations for Dino so it's not as jarring. ]
[ --Okay, scratch that. Once the smell from the kitchen tickles his nostrils and it actually seems acceptable, Squalo decides that maybe Cavallone deserves a few more chances after all. He sits up properly, then stands up to head to the kitchen, actually curious. ]
I'll be damned, I didn't think you'd make it out alive.
[ He peers at the pot/pan/plate wherever the results are currently residing, laughs, and gives Dino an encouraging slap on the shoulder. ]
See? You can actually accomplish basic daily tasks when you put your mind to it. I'm almost proud.
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...also, rude.
...he leans against the counter, tapping the tip of the knife to his bottom lip when he finally comes to investigate. He offers the dog a look and finally just sets the knife onto the drying mat with the rest of the dishes he'd cleaned.
His eyes roll at the pat and he huffs indignantly. ]
Why do you do that?
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[ THE COMPLIMENTS JUST WON'T STOP TODAY. ]
[ Nonetheless, he's walking over to the cabinets and returning with some nice-looking fish-adjacent wine and two (!) glasses, which he then sets on the kitchen table and pours. Hopefully Dino is getting some plates, because they're totally eating together. ]
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[ he watches Squalo move away and does in fact grab two plates, with matching silverware. admittedly, he does adjust the amount he grabs after noting the two glasses...
he knows this doesn't mean anything and he's not putting any weight to it, but he does think it's nice. sharing a meal. doing something like this for someone else.
the next part comes out of nowhere and he worries the inside of his cheek.]
I miss him.
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[ things have been going so well. ]
[ it's lucky that the glasses are already set down and full, because Squalo flinches and drops the remaining bottle on the floor. it shatters, leaving a blotch of wine spreading across the tiles, but rather than do anything about it, Squalo just pulls back a chair and sits down, now all tense. ]
...don't.
[ don't do this to him. he can't even begin to describe in words what he feels right now. and that's exactly why he was hoping to just sort of... ignore it. pretend it's not there. have a nice meal with his friend without screaming his throat out in grief. don't take it away from him. ]
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Kyouya.
[ he corrects, but...he gets it. This hadn't been his intention. he hadn't connected those dots. he just...needed to say it. outloud. ]
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[ Then he realizes the little hell creature is waddling right into the middle of glass shards while slurping tile wine up with its weirdly long tongue. It may be difficult to hurt Hell creatures, but that goldfish totally died from tequila, so -- ]
No -- fuck! --
[ he grabs Cazzo out of the mess and plonks him into his lap. the puppy shoots its tongue out like a goddamn chameleon to give him a cheek lick before it disappears in its weird maw again. ]
[ damn. he's been dad-trapped. ]
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It finally happened. That sealed the puppy deal. Cazzo really does belong to Squalo now (part time :| ).
Dino quietly turns to plate the dish on two plates, and gives Cazzo some in a bowl. All three are brought over to the table but he sets Cazzo’s on the floor beside Squalo. ]
I’ll clean it up.
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[ He gives a nod with a grunt of acknowledgement, his version of "thanks" for the moment, and keeps one hand on Cazzo to stop him from climbing into the plate. He runs the other through his bangs and sighs. ]
...do you think that's why they brought them in to begin with? So they'd have a better way to torture us?
[ Because he's certainly hurting more now than from any of Lucifer's games ever did over the course of two years. ]
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I...don't know, honestly.
[ the rest of the wine is cleaned up with a wet cloth, and Dino moves over to grab a new bottle; inspecting them before finding one that's close enough before he brings it over with the glasses. ]
Whether that was the intention or not, it worked.
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[ and all he'll get for it is a lousy t-shirt. ]
[ as the glass is gone, Squalo lets Cazzo down, and the creature merrily plops on the floor to devour his portion. Possibly swallow it along with the bowl, as Hell creatures do. ]
[ Squalo leans forward, his elbows on the table, head in hands. ]
I thought I had a deal with Lucifer. I did everything he asked of me. [ That included fucking over a bunch of his fellow sinners. Not that he really regrets it, but still. ] I don't understand why this happened.
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[ the wine and glasses were set aside and he sank down into a nearby chair. some of his attention is on the dog and his horrible manners, the other on his friend barely keeping it together, and whatever is left is on other things... ]
Lucifer is not in control here. He's never been in control. You could do everything he ever asks of you and it still won't matter because he answers ultimately to someone else.
[ his brow furrows. ]
I never understood why you follow the power and don't just own it yourself. You could. You just give it up and that's why this is happening.
[ this is dumb and he's not drunk enough for this sort of conversation. ]
You invest in other people more than you invest in yourself and then when it's ripped from you, you don't know how to handle it.
[ ....welp.... ]
But you have it in you to get your arrogant, stubborn head out of your hands and help yourself. It breaks my heart to see how miserable you've allowed yourself to be.
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[ Squalo leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair in frustration again. Yeah, he knew Lucifer was pretty much trapped here along with them, but all the same... ]
But he managed to get him in, so I thought... [ he sighs. Little does he know that Lucifer had merely not corrected his misunderstanding on the situation. He had never actually brought Xanxus in... probably. ] Doesn't matter now.
[ He shakes his head, laughing mirthlessly. ]
Are you saying I should be the boss? I made up my mind about that when I won the Varia. I'm not somebody who can sit around safely and be important all day, you know that.
[ Bosses were too valuable to throw into the fray unless absolutely necessary, and Squalo lived for his battles. He had made the best decision he could with what he had. ]
[ Of course, now... ]
[ Shit, Dino's right. He doesn't know how to handle this. He has no coping mechanisms besides drinking and violence, and that's pretty much his regular day. ]
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I'm saying you're perfectly capable of doing everything on your own. You don't actually need anyone. You know how to lead, you know how to fight, you know how to figure shit out. So with all of that under your belt, with more ego than any man actually needs--why are you sitting here like your entire world has blown to shit?
[ he took the bottle up and filled the two glasses, sank back into the chair with his own and rolled his eyes. ]
So, see that and really take it in that you're better than this, eat your food, drink your wine, love the new puppy and get on with it.
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...
[ He folds his arms defiantly and scowls. ]
Sure, I'm capable. I don't want to.
[ His cheek twitches a little as he bares his teeth in distaste, glaring at the table. ]
I was on my own for eight years. I don't want to do it again. It's -- too soon.
[ His world has been blown to shit, than you very much. What if he decides to just be stubborn about his wallowing in misery? What then? Okay, that's nowhere glorious enough for him to actually do it long term, but he's feeling rather pissed off at the moment so he's willing to go against just about any good suggestion there can be. ]
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He blinks in surprise and then scowls; holding the glass of wine in one hand, idly swirling the contents as his expression morphs from surprise, to confusion, a touch a scorn and then just annoyance. ]
What are you going to do, then? Hm? Cry some more? Drink yourself stupid? Become the exact kind of weakness you give other people shit for?
[ he snorts softly and shakes his head. ]
I don’t believe you will. Your ego couldn’t take it. And for the record you’re not alone. I may not be someone you enjoy having around but someone who looks up to you is here now and he deserves better than this. So knock the shit off and stand up. You’re better than this. It’s the whole reason I continue to bail your ass out when I can. I need you to be what I can’t.
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[ As soon as the word "cry" has left Dino's lips, Squalo's standing up suddenly in a fit of rage, slamming his hands down on the table with a loud thud, looking like he's about to start screaming at him -- but instead he just glares. ]
[ He can't exactly deny those things, them being exactly what he's been doing for the last couple of months, but he didn't have to actually say them, and Squalo didn't have to like it. It's probably a good sign that this has made him mad to such an extent -- there's still stubbornness, and there's still pride, underneath the whole pity party. He's not completely broken yet. He's still himself, just buried under resentment and sadness, but those can be torn away still. ]
[ He growls, loud, offended, teeth bared, and then slowly sits back down as Dino calmly continues speaking as if Squalo didn't look ready to tear his throat out a second ago. Well, maybe he wasn't a Boss for nothing after all, not that he'd ever admit it. Instead, he angrily shoves some food into his mouth. ]
[ That last bit makes him pause mid-chew again, though not in a bad way. He likes being needed. He regards Dino with some amount of curiosity. Be what he can't, huh? ]
...And what exactly is that?
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